Spicy

I don't know what's up with this pregnancy, but I crave hot stuff constantly. Hot sauce is the main staple of my diet. Every day, I sit down and spend some time with Franks Red Hot. The kids are fascinated by this phenomenon, and watch me, like I'm some freak-show, while I eat. If they see me grab the hot sauce bottle one of them will yell to the others, "Hey guys, Mom's eating hot sauce again!" Then they all come running to watch the spectacle.

The other day, Adam and I were in the car, and I said, "I want some hot wings." Adam's reply was, "What is wrong with this baby? Is it Latino?" I laughed. Then he got this look in his eyes, "Are you sleeping with the gardener?" he asked. I bluntly answered, "Yes." He stared at me for a few moments. I think he was trying to figure out why I answered that way. I'm sure, in those few minutes he actually wondered if I was having an affair. I smiled at him and nodded in his direction, and then in the direction of all the yard stuff that FILLED the back of our vehicle. We had just left Lowes to get the things he needed to finish our yard and garden that he had been working on for the past couple of days.

Relief washed over his face as he realized, "Oh yeah, I'm the gardener," he replied.

Lesson 111: being worried your wife is having an affair with your gardener, only to realize you are too poor to afford a gardener and YOU ARE the gardener = white trash

Man, how's he going to react when he hears I'm also sleeping with our plumber, electrician, in-house chef, mechanic, and handy-man?