September 15, 2010

Trash Bath

One house rule for my kids - Everyone bathes before bed. There are many reasons for this rule.

1. I'm a germaphobe
2. Kids are gross
3. I'm a germaphobe
4. I have mostly boys and they have a funky natural stench
5. I thought it would be good for Jagger when he grows up and lives on his own (hopefully), it would be routine and I won't have to worry if he's cleaning himself.

Anyway, last night I was cleaning the tub to get it ready for the older kids. Stone sat in his baby seat next to me, not feeling well. He has a cold and it has made him very irritable. In a split second I changed my mind and decided to clean Stone first and put him to bed early. I didn't want to listen to him scream while the older kids splashed in the tub.

I grabbed the baby tub that rested on top of the open laundry hamper, threw it in the big tub, and filled it with water. I grabbed Stone and undressed him. He immediately calmed down. He loves the bath. I placed him in the water and he splashed merrily while he babbled, probably saying, "it took you long enough, lady." Since he was happy I thought I would pull the humidifier out from under the sink and get it ready for him and Jovie.

When I finished with the humidifier, I knelt down and began Stone's scrubbing. I hurried through our normal routine, washing head to toe, knowing Jovie needed to go to bed early too and still needed a bath.

Reaching his legs, I picked one up to wash his feet and jumped in fright. Under his bum was a big black mass. "Did you poop in the tub?" A big smile was all I got in return. Thinking about it for a second I realized black wasn't a normal color. I bravely reached into the tub and grabbed the mysterious black blob.

Lesson 87: Washing your baby with one of your husband's nasty dirty socks = white trash

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