October 19, 2010

The Tutu Terror

I've had four other kids go through their terrible 2's, but none compare to Miss Jovie. This curly haired ball of crazy is quickly destroying my house and my sanity. The weird thing is, she is ten times worse when she puts on a tutu, which she has been adamant about wearing at all times. She wears them with nothing, she wears them with a sweatsuit. It doesn't matter, it just has to be on.

Last week she successfully destroyed my laptop and the keyboard to our desktop. We were without a computer for a couple of days until we bought a new keyboard. My laptop is toast, though. I opened it one day to find the screen covered in orange crayon. When did she even have time to do it? I have no idea. She's a crayon ninja! Seriously, my house is covered in Jovie doodles, and I don't know how she's doing it. I rarely let her out of my sight. It's not like she tries to be sneaky about it either. She's potty training right now, and she announced, while coloring on paper at the table, that she had to pee. I quickly snatched her up and ran her to the bathroom, with a crayon still in her hand. She sat on her little potty, peed, smiled, then turned and scribbled on the wall. It was like she couldn't help it, her art couldn't wait.

Anyway, back to my laptop. I have a hard time putting away laundry unless she's upstairs with me, but the other day she contently watched an episode of Dora with her brothers, and I sneaked upstairs to try and put a dent in the mounds of clean clothes that needed put away. I put away 1/4 of a load when I heard Jovie cackling like some crazed person in a padded cell. I ran downstairs to find her typing away on my computer. I snatched it from her, and closed it up. I had been working on my book, so I knew she had probably typed all kinds of jibber-jabber and that upset me enough, but I opened it and the screen showed nothing but a weird snow, like t.v. I gasped and closed it, giving Jovie the look of death. I ran upstairs and opened it again. This time my book showed itself, and I was relieved to see Jovie only added a couple of numbers and letters. I tried to delete them, but it turned out to be some sort of code and pulled up some random search, and the first paragraph of my book became the size of half the screen and began scrolling itself up and down the whole manuscript. I couldn't stop it. I couldn't click anywhere in the document. I powered it down, not knowing what else to do.

The only thing I can do now is use Word. That would be alright if I could save what I typed, but it won't save on anything but its internal hard drive. Awesome. Thanks Jovie.

Lesson 93: a whole house being terrorized by a toddler in a tutu = white trash

You know it's bad when Jagger came home from school the other day with a drawing of our family. I'll let it speak for itself.


Lesson 94: kid drawings of your family where your daughter is drawn looking like the Tazmanian Devil = white trash
That's right Jovie, I got my eye on you!

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