God's Sense of Humor

BAM! There it is. Twins. How the heck did that happen?! I said I only wanted 7 kids. So, God gently reminded me who was in charge of my life. Obviously, it's not me. My 7th baby, who was supposed to be the perfect completion and give me rest, has now turned into our 7th and 8th baby, and they are both boys. Hmmmmm......when I think about having 7 boys in the house, the word rest doesn't come to mind.

So, how does one act upon finding out they are having twins? I will now share our reactions with you.

My sonogram appointment was scheduled for 9:00 am, but the technician didn't come to get us until 9:45. When we entered the dark, warm room, full of screens and machines, the sonogram technician said, "Sorry for the wait, but the couple before you had a surprise twin pregnancy."

"Oh man, that would suck!" I snorted, as my big butt tried to get comfortable on the hard bed, where I would be spending the next 30 minutes.

"Ugh, can you imagine?" Adam asked me, nudging my arm.

The technician just laughed as she asked, "Do you want to know the sex?"

"It's a boy," I bluntly told her.

She looked surprised. "Did you already have a sonogram?"

"No, but this is my 7th pregnancy. Trust me, it's a boy."

She smiled as she squeezed a pile of warm blue ooze all over my rounded belly. She placed the wand, and did a quick scan over my whole stomach. It was all a quick blur. Adam and I could definitely see a baby, but she didn't linger long enough to get a good look.

"You have got to be kidding me," she said seeming frustrated, "You're having twins too."

"Hahaha," I laughed, "yeah right. That's funny."

The sonogram lady didn't respond to me. She put the wand down and went to the door, she opened it and yelled down the hall, "I have another surprise twin pregnancy."

My laughing smile straightened. In a panic, I turned to Adam who looked just as confused, "What's going on?" I asked, "Is this really happening?"

Adam shrugged. A lot of help he was. I put my head back down on the pillow, made of, what seemed like brick. I couldn't speak. At that point I probably should never speak again.

 Lesson 116: saying something would "suck" before seeing if you are in the same boat = white trash

I was glad Adam could speak. "Are you sure it's twins? Are you sure it's not just a baby with two heads?" Uh.....Ok, maybe Adam shouldn't have been speaking either.



Lesson 117: being in such shock, you think having a two-headed baby is better than having twins = white trash

The lady laughed as she once again scanned my stomach. "It's definitely twins. Look. Here's baby one," she said as she moved the wand around my bottom left side, "and here's baby two," she pulled the wand up to my right.

Adam and I stared blankly at the screen for a long, long......very long time, then Adam looked at me and we both started laughing.

"We need a bigger house," Adam laughed.

"We need a bigger car," I stated. Adam looked at me with crazy in his eyes, "They don't make cars big enough for us any more." He leaned over and kissed my forhead.

We enjoyed the rest of the sonogram, joking the whole time. When we left, Adam said, "Well, that was different." He was referring to earlier that morning when it was time to leave. Adam had put in 71 hours at work the previous week, 45 hours of those were put in from Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. So, it was no easy task trying to wake him up at 7:30 on Monday morning. "I won't be mad if you don't have the energy to go," I told him, "You've seen a million of these. It's not necessary."

He grumbled as he used all his strength to remove himself from our bed, "No, I want to go," he insisted. Boy, am I glad he got up.

Everyone has been really supportive, for the most part. We do get a lot of, "What are you going to do?" Adam and I just laugh and shrug. We don't know what God's plan is at the moment, but he's never left us hanging. We need a bigger vehicle, we know he'll supply it. We need a bigger house, we're sure he'll find one. We need more money to feed this crazy family, and we know he'll provide it. He's not going to bless us with this responsibility and not give us the means to see it through. This isn't something to lose sleep over. I'm sure we'll lose plenty once the twins get here.

Thank you God, I am humbled by your blessings. :)

Mothers' Day

You know, I really don't care that much for Mothers' Day. Adam always has to do some sort of Mothers' Day brunch for every other mother in the area, so he leaves around 6am and doesn't return until midnight. I'm left alone with the kids all day long, and for some reason my kids ALWAYS choose this day to be their absolute worst. My Mom always tells me, "They're just reminding you that you're a mother." Thanks Mom.

This has been my day so far:

5:30 - Adam alarm wakes me up and not him.

6:19 - I fight with Adam to get out of bed, because he's late.

6:50 - slamming doors

6:51 - Jovie screaming in my face. I tell her to go watch TV. Instead she goes and wakes Stone up.

6:53 - I'm up and Jude is yelling at me because he wants brownies for breakfast.

6:58 - Breakfast demands are yelled at me, while Jovie cries, and I'm still fighting with Jude about the dang brownies.

7:04 - Jovie pees on the couch

7:10 - Jovie dumps her bowl of cereal and milk on the couch next to the pee stain. Oh, by the way, she's still crying.

7:20 - I finally get to eat my soggy cereal. Jovie is STILL crying and Jude is STILL whining about brownies.

7:23 - I give in and serve brownies.

7:25 - I clean up the Tupperware that Stone threw on the floor as I cut brownies.

7:26 - help Jovie pee on the little potty in the living room

7:27 - I perform a partial Heimlich manuever on Stone who's choking on a brownie.

 7:29 - help Jovie pee on the potty - again

7:33 - make Jovie popcorn in hopes that she stops crying......it doesn't work.

7:36 - I'm forced to listen to the absolute worst version of Wheels on the Bus I have ever heard. Where my kids found this cd? I'll never know.

7:40 - I run to my room to hide for a few minutes.

7:45 - I clean up popcorn that Jovie dumped all over my bed. By the way, she's still screaming and crying.

7:50 - I throw a still crying Jovie in her bed in fear that if she doesn't go away from me, she may not live to see the afternoon.

7:56 - I pour a cup of coffee (that I made myself), just to find I have no creamer left. (SUPER FROWNIE-FACE)

8:00 - I hide in my room with Stone and my cup of coffee to watch Curb Appeal, and dream about someone coming and fixing our mess of a home......I enjoy my show for 5 minutes.

8:06 - Stone starts crying b/c he wants my coffee.

8:40 - I let Jovie out and put Stone in for a nap.

8:49 - Jovie comes in my room screaming with the bowl of popcorn, with Jude hot on her trail saying, "Popcorn! Popcorn! Gimme that Popcorn!" in his best Cookie Monster voice. I give Jude a small bowl of popcorn and ask him to leave Jovie alone.

Not sure when - Jovie locks herself in the boys room with the popcorn.

8:59 - Jovie comes out of the room, and proudly tells me to come and see. She has filled a dresser with popcorn.

9:00 - "Whoever gave this child popcorn is going to get punched in the face."

9:01 - I punch myself in the face.

9:09 - Jovie wakes Stone up for the second time today.

9:30 - I didn't get to sevrve at mass today, because I couldn't find a babysitter. I definitely can't take the kids to church by myself. We can't take Jovie EVER!

Lesson 115: Not being able to take your daughter to church because she screams as soon as she enters like the Devil is burning inside her = white trash

No Mothers' Day blessing for me, yet again.

9:49 - changed 2 poopy diapers.

10:14 - find a plague of ants in my kitchen

10:17 - I take out the garbage.

10:19 - I go upstairs to find the bleach and found a pile of banana peels on the floor. I'm forced to clean the upstairs floor.

10:26 - come downstairs and bleach my kitchen floor.

10:37 - I find Stone unloading a basket of clean, folded laundry onto the floor.

10:39 - I'm eating brownies as a form of chocolate therapy. Stone's crying at my legs, Jovie's crying, and Jude is punching me in the rear chanting, "Mom's butt! Mom's butt!"

Sometime after 10:39 - I don't even bother looking at the clock because all I can see is red, when I walk into the living room to see Jovie has dumped her training potty all over the floor. I then have to clean my 3rd floor within a half an hour.

This is where I'm going to stop. It's now 11:15am, and I'm so exhausted that I want to cry. I haven't showered, and I haven't started my daily chores of laundry and dishes.

To all those other mothers out there, I hope you are having a better day, the way Mothers' Day should be. If you're having a day like me, do what I do, keep in mind all those who would love to have the privilege of suffering through a day like today, but can't.

So, even though I've screamed enough this morning to cause an aneurism, I'm still thankful that God has blessed me so many times.

Now, I really must run. Jovie is crying again, Jagger is demanding food, I can't see Stone, and Jude and Jet are chanting, "Cheese Party" out in the kitchen. Scary.

Happy Mothers' Day to all! May God bless you today and always! :)

Anniversary

Today, eight years ago, Adam was crazy enough to say "I do". Sucker.

Adam is always so thoughtful. Last year, he found out copper represented the 7th year, so he spent hours in the garage forging a heart shaped bracelet made of copper. Very sweet.

This year, he got online to see what he could do for me. He was pretty bummed to see it was bronze. He came to me scratching his head, "Honey, I think this year is gonna suck. I don't know where I'm going to find bronze scraps."

With Adam being deathly ill and having to work, and with our financial funds being low, we decided to write this anniversary off as a loss. He did see, however, during his research, that the 8th year is commonly overlooked, but it usually marks the year for prosperity. Bring it on!

As my present to him, I decided I would learn how to cook. No, I don't know how. I'm horrible. Adam actually has pictures of some of my failed attempts. My own mother didn't even let me in the kitchen growing up. Not since I burnt no-bake cookies. Don't ask.

So, as my first attempt to make my husband dinner, I chose soup and pumpkin souffle. I'm proud to say, it didn't turn out bad. I definitely added too many noodles to the soup, but it tastes ok. I did run into a small hitch. I tried to call my mom, but she wasn't home. I talked to my younger brother, "She's not home from work yet," he said. I sighed, knowing I will never live this down, "Is Ronnie home?"

Lesson 114: at age 31, having to call your 15 year old sister to find out what exactly is a casserole dish = white trash

Thanks Ronnie for clearing that up. Just for the record, my thoughts were right. I'm not a complete idiot. lol.

Happy Anniversary my sweet, sweet Adam. Only for you would I brave the kitchen!