This has been my day so far:
5:30 - Adam alarm wakes me up and not him.
6:19 - I fight with Adam to get out of bed, because he's late.
6:50 - slamming doors
6:51 - Jovie screaming in my face. I tell her to go watch TV. Instead she goes and wakes Stone up.
6:53 - I'm up and Jude is yelling at me because he wants brownies for breakfast.
6:58 - Breakfast demands are yelled at me, while Jovie cries, and I'm still fighting with Jude about the dang brownies.
7:04 - Jovie pees on the couch
7:10 - Jovie dumps her bowl of cereal and milk on the couch next to the pee stain. Oh, by the way, she's still crying.
7:20 - I finally get to eat my soggy cereal. Jovie is STILL crying and Jude is STILL whining about brownies.
7:23 - I give in and serve brownies.
7:25 - I clean up the Tupperware that Stone threw on the floor as I cut brownies.
7:26 - help Jovie pee on the little potty in the living room
7:27 - I perform a partial Heimlich manuever on Stone who's choking on a brownie.
7:29 - help Jovie pee on the potty - again
7:33 - make Jovie popcorn in hopes that she stops crying......it doesn't work.
7:36 - I'm forced to listen to the absolute worst version of Wheels on the Bus I have ever heard. Where my kids found this cd? I'll never know.
7:40 - I run to my room to hide for a few minutes.
7:45 - I clean up popcorn that Jovie dumped all over my bed. By the way, she's still screaming and crying.
7:50 - I throw a still crying Jovie in her bed in fear that if she doesn't go away from me, she may not live to see the afternoon.
7:56 - I pour a cup of coffee (that I made myself), just to find I have no creamer left. (SUPER FROWNIE-FACE)
8:00 - I hide in my room with Stone and my cup of coffee to watch Curb Appeal, and dream about someone coming and fixing our mess of a home......I enjoy my show for 5 minutes.
8:06 - Stone starts crying b/c he wants my coffee.
8:40 - I let Jovie out and put Stone in for a nap.
8:49 - Jovie comes in my room screaming with the bowl of popcorn, with Jude hot on her trail saying, "Popcorn! Popcorn! Gimme that Popcorn!" in his best Cookie Monster voice. I give Jude a small bowl of popcorn and ask him to leave Jovie alone.
Not sure when - Jovie locks herself in the boys room with the popcorn.
8:59 - Jovie comes out of the room, and proudly tells me to come and see. She has filled a dresser with popcorn.
9:00 - "Whoever gave this child popcorn is going to get punched in the face."
9:01 - I punch myself in the face.
9:09 - Jovie wakes Stone up for the second time today.
9:30 - I didn't get to sevrve at mass today, because I couldn't find a babysitter. I definitely can't take the kids to church by myself. We can't take Jovie EVER!
Lesson 115: Not being able to take your daughter to church because she screams as soon as she enters like the Devil is burning inside her = white trash
No Mothers' Day blessing for me, yet again.
9:49 - changed 2 poopy diapers.
10:14 - find a plague of ants in my kitchen
10:17 - I take out the garbage.
10:19 - I go upstairs to find the bleach and found a pile of banana peels on the floor. I'm forced to clean the upstairs floor.
10:26 - come downstairs and bleach my kitchen floor.
10:37 - I find Stone unloading a basket of clean, folded laundry onto the floor.
10:39 - I'm eating brownies as a form of chocolate therapy. Stone's crying at my legs, Jovie's crying, and Jude is punching me in the rear chanting, "Mom's butt! Mom's butt!"
Sometime after 10:39 - I don't even bother looking at the clock because all I can see is red, when I walk into the living room to see Jovie has dumped her training potty all over the floor. I then have to clean my 3rd floor within a half an hour.
This is where I'm going to stop. It's now 11:15am, and I'm so exhausted that I want to cry. I haven't showered, and I haven't started my daily chores of laundry and dishes.
To all those other mothers out there, I hope you are having a better day, the way Mothers' Day should be. If you're having a day like me, do what I do, keep in mind all those who would love to have the privilege of suffering through a day like today, but can't.
So, even though I've screamed enough this morning to cause an aneurism, I'm still thankful that God has blessed me so many times.
Now, I really must run. Jovie is crying again, Jagger is demanding food, I can't see Stone, and Jude and Jet are chanting, "Cheese Party" out in the kitchen. Scary.
Happy Mothers' Day to all! May God bless you today and always! :)