May 8, 2011

Mothers' Day

You know, I really don't care that much for Mothers' Day. Adam always has to do some sort of Mothers' Day brunch for every other mother in the area, so he leaves around 6am and doesn't return until midnight. I'm left alone with the kids all day long, and for some reason my kids ALWAYS choose this day to be their absolute worst. My Mom always tells me, "They're just reminding you that you're a mother." Thanks Mom.

This has been my day so far:

5:30 - Adam alarm wakes me up and not him.

6:19 - I fight with Adam to get out of bed, because he's late.

6:50 - slamming doors

6:51 - Jovie screaming in my face. I tell her to go watch TV. Instead she goes and wakes Stone up.

6:53 - I'm up and Jude is yelling at me because he wants brownies for breakfast.

6:58 - Breakfast demands are yelled at me, while Jovie cries, and I'm still fighting with Jude about the dang brownies.

7:04 - Jovie pees on the couch

7:10 - Jovie dumps her bowl of cereal and milk on the couch next to the pee stain. Oh, by the way, she's still crying.

7:20 - I finally get to eat my soggy cereal. Jovie is STILL crying and Jude is STILL whining about brownies.

7:23 - I give in and serve brownies.

7:25 - I clean up the Tupperware that Stone threw on the floor as I cut brownies.

7:26 - help Jovie pee on the little potty in the living room

7:27 - I perform a partial Heimlich manuever on Stone who's choking on a brownie.

 7:29 - help Jovie pee on the potty - again

7:33 - make Jovie popcorn in hopes that she stops doesn't work.

7:36 - I'm forced to listen to the absolute worst version of Wheels on the Bus I have ever heard. Where my kids found this cd? I'll never know.

7:40 - I run to my room to hide for a few minutes.

7:45 - I clean up popcorn that Jovie dumped all over my bed. By the way, she's still screaming and crying.

7:50 - I throw a still crying Jovie in her bed in fear that if she doesn't go away from me, she may not live to see the afternoon.

7:56 - I pour a cup of coffee (that I made myself), just to find I have no creamer left. (SUPER FROWNIE-FACE)

8:00 - I hide in my room with Stone and my cup of coffee to watch Curb Appeal, and dream about someone coming and fixing our mess of a home......I enjoy my show for 5 minutes.

8:06 - Stone starts crying b/c he wants my coffee.

8:40 - I let Jovie out and put Stone in for a nap.

8:49 - Jovie comes in my room screaming with the bowl of popcorn, with Jude hot on her trail saying, "Popcorn! Popcorn! Gimme that Popcorn!" in his best Cookie Monster voice. I give Jude a small bowl of popcorn and ask him to leave Jovie alone.

Not sure when - Jovie locks herself in the boys room with the popcorn.

8:59 - Jovie comes out of the room, and proudly tells me to come and see. She has filled a dresser with popcorn.

9:00 - "Whoever gave this child popcorn is going to get punched in the face."

9:01 - I punch myself in the face.

9:09 - Jovie wakes Stone up for the second time today.

9:30 - I didn't get to sevrve at mass today, because I couldn't find a babysitter. I definitely can't take the kids to church by myself. We can't take Jovie EVER!

Lesson 115: Not being able to take your daughter to church because she screams as soon as she enters like the Devil is burning inside her = white trash

No Mothers' Day blessing for me, yet again.

9:49 - changed 2 poopy diapers.

10:14 - find a plague of ants in my kitchen

10:17 - I take out the garbage.

10:19 - I go upstairs to find the bleach and found a pile of banana peels on the floor. I'm forced to clean the upstairs floor.

10:26 - come downstairs and bleach my kitchen floor.

10:37 - I find Stone unloading a basket of clean, folded laundry onto the floor.

10:39 - I'm eating brownies as a form of chocolate therapy. Stone's crying at my legs, Jovie's crying, and Jude is punching me in the rear chanting, "Mom's butt! Mom's butt!"

Sometime after 10:39 - I don't even bother looking at the clock because all I can see is red, when I walk into the living room to see Jovie has dumped her training potty all over the floor. I then have to clean my 3rd floor within a half an hour.

This is where I'm going to stop. It's now 11:15am, and I'm so exhausted that I want to cry. I haven't showered, and I haven't started my daily chores of laundry and dishes.

To all those other mothers out there, I hope you are having a better day, the way Mothers' Day should be. If you're having a day like me, do what I do, keep in mind all those who would love to have the privilege of suffering through a day like today, but can't.

So, even though I've screamed enough this morning to cause an aneurism, I'm still thankful that God has blessed me so many times.

Now, I really must run. Jovie is crying again, Jagger is demanding food, I can't see Stone, and Jude and Jet are chanting, "Cheese Party" out in the kitchen. Scary.

Happy Mothers' Day to all! May God bless you today and always! :)

1 comment:

  1. Awww Jess! Happy belated mothers day to you too! At least you can look on the positive and realize that many women would love to be in your shoes and can't.