April 28, 2015

Drinks Are On Me!

Little kids love to help, and my twins' servant spirit is stronger than most. They love to clean toys, sweep, put dishes in the sink, and pretty much whatever else you ask them to do. In fact, there are many times I don't even have to ask.

Today was one of those days. After lunch, they took their dishes to the sink and dropped them off. Adam and I were still eating, so, I figured they'd wander off somewhere to play. A few minutes later Fox returned with a small plastic cup full of water. The cup looked suspiciously just like the cup of Cocoa Puffs Stone had earlier.

"Mom, I got you a drink."

Not wanting to crush his spirit, I took the cup. "Awe. Thank you! You are such a nice boy. Thank you for thinking of me." As I put the cup beside my plate, I could tell the water was hot. Mmmmmm. There were also various things floating in it. Double-mmmmm!

Fox hung on my leg. Waiting.

I'm a total germ-a-phobe. I wanted to smack the cup across the room to get it far, far away from me. Then, by some saving grace, Fox grabbed the cup and said, "No, I got this for Dad."


Adam chuckled, "Wow, thanks buddy."

"You going to drink it?" Fox asked.

Adam looked into the cup. "Buddy, there's things floating in it." Adam quickly jumped up with his empty plate and ran away.


Fox climbed up in Adam's chair and peered inside the cup. "Oh, that's wood. Hold on, I'll get it."


Fox shoved his whole fist inside the cup, displacing a good majority of the water. He pulled his hand out. "Got it!" He opened his hand and shook his head, "No, that's grass." He shook the wet grass from his hand. "Hold on, I can get it." He shoved his hand back into the cup.

Where the heck did he get this water?

He fished around and fished around, getting more and more frustrated. "I can't get it!" All of a sudden, his face lit up. "I know! I need a straw!" Fox jumped down off the chair and ran to the kitchen. He came back and threw his red straw in the cup. "Now I'll get it."

I watched as he sucked up mouth full after mouth full of water, and then he'd spit it back in the cup after being unsuccessful at sucking up the wood chunk.

Finally, he took the straw out, placed it on the table, and sighed. "Maybe I should just clean it."

I smiled, "That sounds like a very good idea." I wanted no part in putting that hot, wood, grass, fist, spit water anywhere near my mouth!

He jumped back down and ran for the kitchen. While he was gone, I tried to psyche myself up to take a little swig of water to make him happy. I knew that by cleaning, he meant rinsing it out. For me to be alright to drink it, it would have to be dumped, scrubbed, bleached, boiled, and ran through the dishwasher at least seven times.

He came back in. The cup was full and he had a big smile on his face. "This water is cold."

"Well, that's good."

He placed the cup on the table. "The cup is all wet, because I cleaned it in the bathroom."

Noooooooooo!!!! My resolve faded fast. I thought to myself, OK, one small swig of, what is most likely, toilet water. Dogs drink out of the toilet all the time and survive. No, wait! I can just keep my lips closed and make it look like I'm drinking it. That's it!

Lesson 193: Having to mentally prepare to drink water = white trash

I was finally ready to take the cup. I reached over, but right when I put my hand on the thing straight out of my nightmares, Fox snatched it out of my hand and said, "I think I need a drink."

Yes son, enjoy the fruits of your labor.

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