January 3, 2010

Booger Eye

Yet again, the Mother of the Year Award eludes me. I try so hard to be June Cleaver, but always end up like Peg Bundy.

Now, everyone knows how much I love germs. Anyway, the kids got some never ending cold three days before Christmas vacation and have been sick ever since. The cold consists of extremely thick disgusting green boogers and horrible cough and one day of fever. Fun. We went no where this Christmas holiday and warned anyone who wanted to come to our house. I don’t like to share our diseases.

I, of course, was the last person to get sick. (On Christmas Day! Lucky me.) The next day was my day of fever and the kids were extremely restless and coming down of their Christmas high. They were all miserable and nasty to one another. Adam had to work, so I had to deal with all the nonsense very sick, 8 months pregnant, and alone.

The kids obviously didn’t care how sick I was because their demands were high and their fighting was out of control. This is where I messed up. Jagger and Jude had gotten into a fight and Jag ended up hitting Jude. Jag of course had to go to time out. He refused to go so I had to pick him up and carry him. (He weighs over 50 lbs. Ugh.) This caused me to have some Braxton Hicks on top of feeling like a feeces sandwich. I turned and Jude had big tears running down his face accompanied by a stream of bright green flowing out both nostrils down into his mouth. I sighed and got a tissue. I picked him up and immediately removed the boogers. Then, without thinking, because I was barely alive and in pain, I wiped his eye with the booger part of the tissue. The voice in my head screamed at my hand that seemed to be on autopilot. My hand finally realized what it was doing and threw the tissue. I ran him over and tried to clean him up properly with clean rags, but the damage was done. I knew it was coming, but I didn’t know how bad.

The next morning, just as I had suspected, Jude woke up with that eye crusted shut. He cried as I put a warm moist rag on his eye to remove the nastiness. I cleaned it, but it oozed all day. It was such a challenge to try and keep him from picking at it. He kept rubbing his eye and then would immediately try to rub the other one with the same hand! It made me insane! Of course, two days later the other eye was crusty. I called the doctor and told him what happened, despite being mortified to tell him it was entirely my fault. Mother of the Year right here! He told me he figured it would clear up on its own and didn’t need any medical attention. I just needed to keep the warm compresses on it. Not like that was an easy task, holding a 3 year old down to remove hard crust from his eyelashes that are sticking like they were placed there with super glue.

It was really embarrassing when my mom, dad, and siblings came to visit. We woke one morning and the kids had already gotten up. Jude didn’t wake me to clean his eyes. I couldn’t figure out why, but the chocolate beard he had when I came down explained it. There stood my youngest son with his eyes nearly crusted shut, green crust surrounding both nostrils with a stream of green ooze coming from the middle, accompanied by a self-made chocolate beard.

Lesson 42: this week, my son Jude is the poster child for white trash

Please don’t ever, EVER wipe your kids’ noses and then put it in their eyes. It’s not pretty. Trust me!

I’m sorry Jude for the eye contamination. Maybe I’ll do better this year! Mother of the Year 2010, here I come!
I would also like to take a minute to wish the love of my life a Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday Adam! With out you this crazy life wouldn't have been half as enjoyable. I love you so much and am so thankful you are my husband!!

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