Put On Your Red Shoes And Dance

As soon as Miss Jovie started taking note of the world, she became infatuated with shoes. When she learned to crawl, she would make a b-line for our shoe pile and spend time evaluating shoes and sticking her foot in the ones she deemed worthy.

She not only loves to wear shoes, but she plays with them as well. Not having a lot of girl toys in the house, she loves to play with Hot Wheels. She makes it a little less tomboyish by putting the cars in her shoes and driving those around.

Jackie and my mother-in-law are Jovie's partners in shoe crime, constantly buying her shoes to fuel her addiction. One time her Gaga (Adam's mom) took her to Target and ended up walking out of there with three new pairs of shoes! The one pair looked like pink ballet flats that were covered in glitter. These were Jovie's favorite until I had to remove them from the house. She had outgrown them but refused to stop wearing them. She'd shove her pudgy foot into them, then waddle around saying, "Ouch, ouch, ouch." My grandmother who said, "You must suffer to be beautiful" would be proud. Jovie took this to a whole new level when she cried as I pryed them off her feet with one of them actually bleeding from the top strap.

Lesson 64: wearing shoes that make you bleed, but not caring because you look fabulous = a whole lotta crazy

Luckily, Jackie felt sad for her and bought her a fancy pair of red shoes. She loves her red shoes. They don't really match with anything, but she doesn't care. She puts them on, then does a little dance, watching her shoes and squealing with delight. The first time Adam witnessed this he asked, "What is she doing?"

"She's just doing what David Bowie told her to do. She put on her red shoes and danced." I told him.

When Easter came Adam and I knew that we wanted to put a new pair of shoes in Jovie's Easter basket. With Adam's schedule during the holidays, I never have a lot of time to shop. Going to Walmart at 10:30 at night ended up being my only option. I found a cute pair of white sandals that I thought she would like. On Easter morning she peered into her basket and pulled the shoes out. She sneered at them and threw them back in the basket. Adam and I looked at each other feeling confused.

"Look Jovie, they're shoes." Adam told her as he tried to put them on. Jovie kicked her legs, but Adam managed to get a shoe on. She took one look at them then yelled and kicked her foot wildly until the shoe flew off. She never wore those shoes again. I put them on and she would immediately take them off. I gave up and passed them on to my niece.

Then, when Adam and I were wandering around Walmart on our anniversary,

Lesson 65: celebrating your anniversary wandering around Walmart = white trash

and we found a pair of little Tinkerbell flip-flops. The thought of Jovie in flip-flops was too much to pass up. The next day, when she woke up, we got out her new shoes. Again, she was unimpressed. She hasn't worn them once. It's not like she doesn't like flip-flops. She wears everyone else's.

"Is she too good for Walmart shoes?" I asked Adam. They are the only two pairs of shoes she's ever had that were bought there, and she refuses to wear them.

"Maybe."

"Is that a bad sign?"

"Definitely."

Lesson 66: being scared that your daughter is too good for Walmart = white trash