November 7, 2009

Influenza With a Side of Pork

My family was one of the lucky groups of people blessed with the H1N1 virus. Oh yes, that dreaded flu that has everyone up in arms. With me being pregnant, Marky with respiratory problems, and kids that carry staph we were probably one of the highest risk families in the area, but we made it out alive.

I had called our family doctor a month before trying to get the kids vaccinated; they told me they weren’t giving shots to anyone under 18 this year. “Go to Walgreens.” was their solution. Unfortunately, that would have cost me $100, and we haven’t had $100 that didn’t have someone else’s name on it for months now.

The day after I fell ill my OBGYN’s office called to tell me they were offering the H1N1 vaccination. I chuckled and politely told them, “Thanks, but I’m currently in the process of vaccinating myself the hard way.” I could have used this swine flu protection a month ago.

I know we aren’t supposed to call it the “swine” flu, but I’m educated enough to know we didn’t get it from some bad bacon. Since we are still eating pork I think I should be able to call it whatever I want, and swine flu sounds so much more fun.

Now this particular illness really sucked. I’m not going to lie. Two of my kids had to go to the hospital, and all of them had fevers that reached 104.5 degrees at some point, but the awesome thing was that it was the most time my family has spent together in years.

The kids stayed home from school, Adam called off work, and I refrained from chores for almost a whole week, leaving us nothing to do but snuggle. Adam pulled up the futon mattress from the basement and nestled it into the corner of our sectional couch. We then brought down all our comforters, and the six of us spent the week laying around in our “nest” watching t.v. and eating out of the very large box of candy the kids had gotten from trick-or-treat the day before they got sick.
The one day Adam was tired of not being able to breathe and he said to me, "I have a great idea!" Phrases like this coming from Adam's mouth scare me. "I'm going to boil a pot of Vicks."
"Oh gosh." was all I could work out in the form of a sigh. I was too tired to deal with his crazy at the moment.
I know it sounds crazy, but it worked. After seeing what a fine job the half a tub of Vicks Vapo-rub did, he became more curious and decided to throw a Shower Soothers in the pot, or in "the brew" as he liked to call it. We spent the day in a mentholated sauna. I can only imagine what Jagger's teacher thought when she stopped by to drop off his missed work. My living room looked like a mortuary hosting the Up In Smoke Tour.

So, even though we all felt really crappy, I’m thankful that we experienced it together. I’m sure it will be something we’ll all look back on fondly......that's so sad.

Lesson 31: Looking back fondly on having the swine flu = white trash

1 comment:

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