November 15, 2009

Jude Dude

My youngest son (for now), Jude is one of the most unique characters you’ll ever meet. As a baby he started smiling before two weeks old and laughing way before any baby I have ever known. His sense of humor is off the charts and has always been that way.

Unfortunately, shortly after he turned 2 he moved into the boys’ room, and sleep deprivation has proved to be quite unbecoming on him. Not only did Jagger start waking him up at 5 am, but he couldn’t stand hearing his brothers downstairs playting while he was supposed to be taking a nap, resulting in him not taking one at all. My sweet funny boy has turned into a tired unhappy child who on most days I am convinced has been spawned by Satan himself.

Not only is he sleep deprived, but he also suffers from the small man syndrome. He has acquired the wee-gene from my father’s side of the family. He’s thin and short, which is a big contrast to his brothers who are all on the tall and muscular side. Somehow, despite his size, he has more testosterone than all his brothers combined. He walks around with his chest puffed out and talks in a deep manly voice, dishing out his demands.

He does still have his sweet moments where you can’t help but be overtaken by his charisma. When people come to the house they immediately fall in love with Jude. He pulls out all the stops for company. He bats his big beautiful blue eyes, speaks in his high squeaky voice (which is his actual voice), and laughs his laugh that is most contagious. I can’t tell you how many times I hear, “I’m going to steal Jude.” And they are always very surprised when I say, “Please do.” (I never worry about it. They'd take him and return him before sunset. Trust me!)

Jude definitely has what my husband calls “the Johnston charm”. It is a gift endowed to all Johnston men, according to Adam. It’s a gift very similar to the Force. Supposedly all Johnston men have the ability to woo any woman. I personally think it’s a pile of malarkey. If this were true Adam would be married to someone much more exotic than me! (Even though I am quite a catch!)

It is quite amusing to see Jude around little girls. He flirts and presents them with gifts. Yesterday, my friend came to visit with her daughter who is close in age to Jovie. As soon as she was in the door, Jude wouldn’t leave her alone. He was up in her face giving her kisses, covering her with his blanky, and giving her his favorite toys. He leaned over and whispered sweet nothings in her ear. That’s when it happened. From his mouth came the best pick up line I have ever heard. He leaned in close, batted his eyes, and said oh so sweetly, “I poop in my underwear.” My friend’s daughter babbled happily and smiled, seeming to be taken by this intimate conversation.

“Wow, Jude’s got the moves.” I said rather embarrassed.

Lesson 34: your best pick up line being “I poop in my underwear.” = white trash

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