We were getting by with our one tiny car and occasionally borrowing our neighbor Jackie’s car. She's been a real angel, letting us use her vehicle at the drop of a hat. Things seemed to be looking up until Thanksgiving.
Adam, being a chef, had to work on Thanksgiving. (Nothing says “Happy Thanksgiving” like going to a fancy steakhouse! Sorry if this is what your family does, but I personally don’t understand.) Since these kinds of people take my husband away from me and our children on all holidays I have to say:
Lesson 35: Going to a restaurant on Thanksgiving instead of celebrating at home with family = white trash
Sorry for the brief distraction, I had to get that off my chest. Anyway, like I was saying, Adam had to work Thanksgiving and on the way home at 9pm he was in a car accident. This was no ordinary accident. It is the type of accident that only my family is lucky enough to be involved in.
Adam was driving down the right hand side of the road. The left side was completely open. Adam took a quick glance at the passenger side mirror and saw headlights.
“Well this can’t be good.” he said to himself. Boy was he right! There, coming up beside him, half on the sidewalk, was a truck. The truck tried to squeeze past Adam, destroying the whole passenger side of our newly fixed, only driven for a couple of weeks, “new” car. It cut Adam off and drove up onto the median on the other side, slid down, and then came to a stop. Adam pulled off on the side of the road and called 911.
While on the phone, Adam watched as the driver jumped frantically from his car and ran to the back. He searched until he found a flashlight and a gas can, with both items in hand, he began to run around with no apparent purpose.
Adam sighed, “Oh boy.” He could tell this wasn’t going to turn out well. “Sir,” he yelled out the window, “you should probably get out of the road.”
The man turned to Adam, realizing for the first time that he wasn’t alone. “Oh, right, right.” he responded. He ran over to Adam. “I’m half black, half Mexican.” he felt compelled to tell my husband. “Can you drive me to my house? I have a doctor’s appointment at 9 am. What time is it?”
“It’s 9:30.” Adam told him.
“Oh crap, I’m late!” he yelled, beginning to run around again.
“No, sir, it’s 9:30 at night. You still have a good twelve hours to get there.” He told the man, trying to calm him down.
“Oh good. Can you take me home?” he asked again.
“We better wait for the police and the ambulance.” Adam suggested. He figured this man had bumped his head or was under the influence, which would definitely require some sort of medical or legal attention.
The ambulance soon arrived to Adam’s relief. Adam pointed them in the direction of the man and informed them about his odd behavior and that he had to have hit his head or something. They went over to the gentleman and began asking him questions.
“Are you allergic to any medications?” they asked.
“Bananas.” was his response.
They checked him out further, but found nothing wrong other than his bizarre answers. A little later, the police arrived. The man explained to the officer that his truck got stuck in cruise control and he panicked.
After the interviews, Adam and the man stood together, waiting for the officer to return. Adam was highly amused with the man and his incoherent small talk. He spoke of things like how he was nervous for the tow man because he thought when they started his vehicle, since the cruise control was stuck, it was going to "blast to the moon". He also spoke of how tall his son was. He said he was going to be 9 foot tall by the age of 20, but then told Adam that was going to be hard since he was already 22.
Adam’s favorite part of the night, by far, was when the man’s face suddenly lit up. He held his finger high in the air as if he had some sort of brilliant idea, and then ran back to his truck. After rummaging through his car he returned with his arms full.
“I feel really bad,” he said, “I want you to have these. I just got this cd." he held the cd up triumphantly, "Here’s a hat, a pair of sunglasses and a piece of hard candy.”
Adam stood dumbfounded. “Uh, I don’t want your stuff man.”
“But it’s really good hard candy!” he insisted.
Adam looked at the lint covered piece of candy. “I’m sure it is. I just don’t need any of that stuff right now, but thank you.”
When the ordeal was over, Adam was released to come home. A few days have gone by and we've done everything we can to try and get our car fixed. Unfortunately, after speaking to this guy’s supposed insurance company, they are telling us they don’t have him on file. Adam hung up the phone and told me the bad news. After a few minutes of silence, Adam stated, “I should have taken the hard candy.”
Lesson 36: accepting a piece of “really good” hard candy in exchange for car damages = white trash
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